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The Blocked Confusion

04 Jul

It’s funny but it kinda takes you a while to realize that what you’re facing is indeed THE Writer’s Block. And unfortunately by the time comprehension dawns, you’ve been in it for a while. The symptoms were clear, you just ignored them (as always is the case). It has taken me five complete months to reflect on the fact that I’ve not written anything ‘of late’. I’d read a lot about the dreaded block, but that I would end up going through it within a year of starting to write is something that took me by surprise. Ah well, my mind shurgs.

Writer's block


The first thing that hits you is immense sadness. Your mind immediately categorizes this as ‘something bad’ that has happened to you and the symptoms are the same. You start dwelling on the ‘why me’s and the hows. During the past couple of weeks I’ve tried hard not to feel ‘bad’ about it and rather form a weird sense of satisfaction about going through it (“OK, so here’s another thing I can claim I went through! Let’s remember the details; at least it’ll make for a nice over-a-cup-of-coffee/near-the-water-cooler discussion!)

And I knew this: what, why, when, how – the reasons (which are usually pretty clear to you) don’t matter as comprehension of the same neither aids nor ebbs the block.

So the question is, now that one knows what is it that one is facing, what can be done about it?

I actually knew answer (one idea out of the many “to-do” lists I’d read somewhere on a similar blog at WordPress). Weird as it sounds, I knew I had to write something again…anything!

Silly, (my mind goes) isn’t not being able to write THE problem here?

But somewhere, it made sense. Kinda on the lines of throw-the-person-in-the-water-if-he-ain’t-able-to-swim. Well, maybe it helps? It’s not that I’m doing anything else except going, “writers block writer’s block writer’s block” in my head over and over again.

To be fair, I did write a couple of somethings in these five months. The problem (as anyone who’s gone though it knows) is that nothing sticks, even in your head. Nothing flows. Ideas spark and die, like a lighter that’s nearly empty. You lose conviction in your own ideas as your brain goes (in variety of ways) “oh yeah?! Deh ya rly think ya can rite that?!”

You become your biggest critic and slam your words even before they are formed. I have numerous documents and handwritten pages of words that DID make it to paper but never flowed, never got completed because my mind would go blank halfway through. Stories remained unfinished as words chocked and died.Writer's...?

Until today… when a voice deep down exclaimed, “why not write about THIS, if nothing else?!” My mind raises an eyebrow at me, but before it can protest, I open a word document and here it is, my 483rd word.

So bear with me folks, as I struggle to get out of this quicksand of confusion and finally manage to write an article or two. Perhaps I might be able to spew a decent enough article soon, after an onslaught of why-does-she-even-bother posts.

Until then, I’ll act as a recovering alcoholic or (to sound rather impressive) an athlete who’s back after an injury. Either ways, I need to swim (even if I choke on the water) and I have to walk (even if it means limping for quite a while). And most importantly, I have to write, even if it turns out be an article like this one! 😉 Here’s hoping in the end, it was all a dream….! Oh wait, it wasn’t… well then… coffee anyone? I have a cool story to share…

 
Image courtesy: Publishingacademy.com and thestorytemplate.blogspot.in
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2 Comments

Posted by on July 4, 2012 in Writing

 

Tags: , ,

2 responses to “The Blocked Confusion

  1. David

    July 4, 2012 at 1:25 PM

    Ah, i will pick up the coffee offer!! 😀

     
  2. David

    July 5, 2012 at 12:05 AM

    …and we like your come back! :D…yayyyy!

    Was an interesting read, something many of us go through – though going through it might not be fun….

    lo behold, you are back!

     

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